Exam Fear

About nine months back I decided to try something serious.I decided to write a competitive exam. I then decided to get serious about preparations about three weeks before the exam. If I would have not decided to try seriously nine months back I would have got serious about one week before the exam. So I was pretty serious.

Then I studied a subject I had no clue about and wrote the exam. That was about two months back.

Memories of the exam almost faded away within a week after analyzing my performance except for the times when some people casually asked – “So, When are the results coming?”. The books I used to study and planned to read later accumulated a fair amount of dust on covers.

I practically forgot about the whole thing till I had a dream today morning.

In this dream people were congratulating me for my success. I was acting casually oblivious, the way I behave when flattered or appreciated. Dream almost felt very real. The amount of responsibilities that I will be burdened with if I manage to pass next round too scared me. Even the amount to preparation that need to be done for next round was monstrously scary.

It is weird that mind play such games with us. I had this dream which gave me hope when I almost gave up and stopped caring about it. I pretty well know that I did bad in the exam and there is almost no chance that I will get through. But my subconscious just want to keep fingers crossed.

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